The Etiquette Of Hats (For Men)

October 04, 2017

People can also return to hats. And returning they are—at such a fast rate that even Walmart now sells pre-pressed small-brimmed fedoras of the type favored by Williamsburg hipsters.

The Wall Street Journal is aware of the phenomenon and reported the lamentations of men who have begun to wear hats but don’t know how to do so properly.

Since the paper offered no advice on the etiquette, it falls to me to provide it, which comes in two parts: Kinds and Places.

The Kind Of Hat To Wear

Baseball caps are just the thing if one is playing baseball, golf, or some other sport in which it is necessary to shade one’s eyes without restraining the movement of one’s arms. They can be worn as a spectator to these events, though it is a cliché.

Caps are also appropriate while piloting a tractor, building a deck, chatting up the lumberyard salesman, or other activities directly associated with labor. Otherwise, they should not be worn.

Balance 

The rules are simple: (1) the more clothes you have on, the thicker your silhouette, the wider the brim of the hat; and (2) the more formal the dress, the more formal the hat.

If you wear a suit (which you should) over which is a raincoat or topcoat, at least wear a fedora, if not a homburg. The later can only be pulled off by older gentlemen or by ugly, swarthy, or fat men. If you have a baby face, are pretty, or are thin, stick to a fedora. Bowlers and derbies, at least in the States, are lost to history. However, they can be tried if you sport a thick moustache. Opera hats are as ancient as togas.

Weatherization

A baseball cap is a miserable device for preventing the rain from creeping down your neck, or in stopping the sun from blasting the same location. Hats have brims for a purpose. Exploit them.

Wool, beaver especially, hats shed rain beautifully and even retain their insulative qualities when saturated.

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